The Mayor of Lambertville, NJ, home of "Millionaire" winner Zora Andrick has named this Saturday "Zora Day." The Mayor said that this honor is being bestowed on her for "setting a fine example for personality-less gold diggers everywhere who are looking to attract dim-witted, underwear-modeling construction workers."

Celine Dion took the stage Tuesday night at Caesars Palace in the debut of "A New Day," her multimillion-dollar show that will run for 3 years. Roy, from Segfried & Roy, commented, "It's really the gayest thing I've ever seen."

Britney Spears has filed a lawsuit against Skechers, claiming the company failed to pay her for marketing a line of roller skates and accessories. She is asking for $1.5 million and the right to keep all the knee pads she wants.

Representative Bob Ney ordered that House restaurants change their menus to read "freedom fries" instead of French fries. In a surprise move, Bill Clinton also ordered that his most prized possession change it's name to read "freedom tickler."

Grammar experts surprisingly sided with Fred Durst that his use of "agreeance" during his anti-war speech at the Grammy's. It turns out that "agreeance" is a real word -- but it is considered obsolete -- except in areas of Australia. This is ironic since Limp Bizkit is also obsolete -- except in areas of Durst's mind.

Some of the country's most popular tourist sites might be closed temporarily if a war with Iraq raises new terrorist concerns. Officials are asking all terrorist organizations to shift their plans away from our national landmarks and focus on wherever they are filming, "I'm A Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here."

"The Ring" comes out on video this week. The horror movie is about a videotape that kills whomever watchs it. A personal movie review: No way in hell am I going to rent it.

In Byron Bay, north of Sydney, 250 gay men dressed in their birthday suits to spell out "Peace, man." To date this was the first protest to combine both anti-war and anti-bush agendas.

On Sunday night, TV viewers got treated to exclusive interviews with Robert Blake and Saddam Hussein. Or, as network executives are billing it: Liar, Liar.